1.
> >>>>Dear friends,
> >>>>
> >>>>Hello, my name is Mr Jackson. I am suffering from rare and deadly
> >>>>diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of
being
> >>>>kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not
> >>>>forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people
> >>>>who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year
> >>>>old girl in Arkansas with a
> >>>>breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it
> >>>>removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling
freak
> >>>>show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you
and
> >>>>everyone you send "his" email to $1000?
> >>>>How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here!
> >>>>If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every
> >>>>Playboy in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit.
> >>>>So basically, this message is to all the people out there who have
> >>>>nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.
Maybe
> >>>>the evil chain letter leprechauns will come
> >>>>into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the
chain
> >>>>which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country
by
> >>>>midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it
> >>>>makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World
> >>>>Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
> >>>>If you're going to forward something, at least send me something
mildly
> >>>>amusing.
> >>>>I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this
> >>>>poor,
> >>>>wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a Nickel from
> >>>>some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.
> >>>>
> >>>>Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
> >>>>contributing to by
> >>>>sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.
> >>>>
> >>>>THE THREE BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
> >>>>
> >>>>Chain Letter Type 1
> >>>>
> >>>>Scroll Down
> >>>>
> >>>>Make a wish!!!
> >>>>Keep Scrolling
> >>>>No, really, go on and make one!!!
> >>>>
> >>>>Wish something else!!!
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>Not that, you pervert!!
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>STOP!!!!
> >>>>
> >>>>Wasn't that fun?
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>Hope you made a great wish :)
> >>>>Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if
> >>>>you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will
be
> >>>>raped by a mad goat and thrown
> >>>>off a high building into a pile of leprechaun manure. Thanks!!!!
> >>>>
> >>>>Good Luck!!!
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>Chain Letter Type 2
> >>>>
> >>>>Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a
> >>>>starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no
> >>>>legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be
saved,
> >>>>because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to
> >>>>the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from
> >>>>Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.
> >>>>
> >>>>Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails
sent
> >>>>and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out.
Send
> >>>>this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you
> >>>>accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.
> >>>>Thanks again!!
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>Letter Type 3
> >>>>
> >>>>Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897.
> >>>>This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and
> >>>>probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do.
> >>>>So this is how it works...
> >>>>Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something
> >>>>horrible will happen to you like:
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>*Bizarre Horror Story #1*
> >>>>
> >>>>Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had
> >>>>recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a
> >>>>crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a
drainpipe
> >>>>in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only
> >>>>did she
> >>>>smell nasty, she died.
> >>>>
> >>>>This Could Happen To You!!!
> >>>>
> >>>>*Bizarre Horror Story #2*
> >>>>
> >>>>Dexter Bip, a 13-year-old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and
> >>>>ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his
> >>>>boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died
> >>>>and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable doggies every day
for
> >>>>eternity. This Could
> >>>>Happen To
> >>>>You Too!!!
> >>>>Remember, you could end up just like
> >>>>Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your friends, and
> >>>>everything will be
> >>>>okay.
> >>>>
> >>>>POINT BEING?
> >>>>If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless
> >>>>or luckless for the rest of
> >>>>your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.
> >>>>Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
> >>>>Botswana
> >>>>with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years,
> >>>>whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you
> >>>>forward this mail,
> >>>>otherwise you'll end up like Pinsley and Bip. Right?
> >>>>Now forward this to everyone that you know otherwise you'll
> >>>>find all your underwear missing tomorrow morning.
2.
>>>19 THINGS TO DO IN A BATHROOM STALL
>>>
>>> >>>>>1. Stick yor palm open under the stall wall and ask your
>>>neighbor,"May
>>> >>>>>I borrow a highlighter?"
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>3. Cheer and clap loudly everytime somebody breaks the silience
>>>with
>>>a
>>> >>>>>bodily function noise.
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh crap!! My glass eye!!"
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a
>>>cantelope
>>> >>>>>into the toliet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>10. Fill up a large flask with Mountian Dew. Squirt iterratically
>>>under
>>> >>>>>the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,"Whoa! Easy boy!!"
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>11. Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of
>>>toliet
>>> >>>>>paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor.Then
>>>say,"Whoops,
>>> >>>>>could you kick that back over here, please?
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>15. Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now
>>>what
>>> >>>>>am I gonna do?"
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>16. Play a well known song on your butt cheeks over and over again.
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>17. Before you unroll toliet paper,conspicusly laydown
>>>a"Cross-Dressors
>>> >>>>>Anonymous "newsletter on the floor visiable to the adjacent stall.
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so
>>>you
>>> >>>>>can see your neighbor and say,"Peek-a-boo!"
>>> >>>>>
>>> >>>>>19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing
>>>"Born
>>> >>>>>Free"
3.